Heist Craft

Heist Craft

Merry Christmas ya filthy Animals!!

The BarPosted by Adam Wed, December 20, 2017 17:02:20

Dear Santa, yeah, we’ve been naughty this year, and its been worth it you fat judgmental B*stard.

Thought that would get your attention, and speaking of which it was brought to our attention that we haven’t written a blog in a while. Apart from the fact we have probably exhausted our moaning about our prices, opening hours, the products we serve, Tesco, takeaways and the council (All of which are still gripes), we have been incredibly f**king busy. On this note I think our Christmas market was a MASSIVE success, don't you? With nearly 2000 people through the door which is insane, I think only Tesco and Aldi get these numbers through the door and they’re worldwide names, we’re just little old Heist (Smug face). We’re here (just the 2 of us) if anyone needs our help next year reaching these numbers, no names or authorities mentioned.

Contrary to popular belief, we don’t just drink beer all day, and unbelievably we have only been open 8 ½ months, in which time most businesses are contemplating which direction to take, whether they plough on at a risk, or contemplation of closure, which you may have seen from other businesses in the last 8 ½ months. We however are more than comfortable, probably because of the hard work we put in to the business, now this is not us justifying to our customers what we do but more making everyone aware how much we do do, to ensure we are a successful business and brand going forward. Anyone can open a business but very few people have the balls or other lady parts to see it through even through the rough, as its easier to pack it all in and/or bury their heads in the sand. We however hold our heads high at what we have achieved in the time we have had.

Beginning in April it was always our dream to start a business that would grow and grow and we’ve made a bloody good start. We have met our own objectives for this year which were to brew with key leaders in the craft market, build a strong local customer base, produce our own first brew, open a brewery, and the biggest one of all, to not have to pay for our own Christmas party (You can see where our priorities lie) and these have all come to fruition this year.

The good news is there is more to come next year, with even more objectives that will be achieved by the end of 2018, all of which are under wraps, although if you keep your eyes peeled there is a massive green clue on the front of our premises which forms part of 1 of many new plans and ventures. What we can tell you is we will continue to bring some big names to Clowne, and we will be taking the village of Clowne along with the Heist Brand overseas several times throughout the year.

We can’t take all the credit though, this is not all purely down to our own motivation, passion, drive, enthusiasm, ambition and aspiration. No! No!……it’s also down to our customers, all you ex Carling drinkers we have managed to convert to proper beer. All of our customers who have shown interest in us and our business and all those who have supported us both mentally and physically. Parents, family, friends, customers and crowdfunders have all played their part in our success so a massive thank you goes out to each and every one of you at this time of year, and if we weren’t so tight you would all be getting a small token of our appreciation in the form of a drink, but instead you will have to accept this blog. We said we were comfortable, not made of money. Maybe next year…………! Key word there being ‘maybe’.

Oh, I forgot to mention a special someone in particular, a massive thank you goes out to the guy that shit all over the toilet seat in the mens, you are a gem my friend. This is not an invite for a trend to start as we won’t be as thankful going forward……We just wish we knew where you lived so that we could repay the favour. In the meantime you keep going fella…..

These are the kind of perks of the job that we have really enjoyed this year, and whoever says, ‘it’s what comes with the job!’ no its not, it’s what comes with the customers whom without any business would fail, it doesn’t mean you allow them to vacate themselves wherever they please for the price of a pint. It cost us £20 in bleach…….However this being said we couldn’t be any more thankful for the other 99.9% that can handle their alcohol, and their own bowels.

We would like to wish all of our customers a very Merry Christmas and hope that everyone has a very prosperous, happy and successful New Year. 2018 is THE year!!

And in the words of Tiny Tim ‘God Bless us, everyone!’ (Including toilet guy)

Love Heist

Our opening hours for Christmas are:

23rd – 12 – 10pm

24th – 12 – 9pm

25th – Closed

26th – 12 – 6pm

27th – 2 – 8pm

28th – 2 – 8pm

29th – 2 – 8pm

30th – Closed

31st – Invite Only

1st Jan – Closed



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Posted by Bigbirdd Thu, December 21, 2017 21:21:46

Only 8.5 months? Here’s to the next 12.