Heist Craft

Heist Craft

CLOSING DOWN.......

The BarPosted by Adam Mon, October 02, 2017 12:15:48
.............Apparently!!

According to a number of unreliable sources we are closing down. We can confirm this is absolute nonsicle bullshart!

We have now been asked, and told, on several occasions that we are closing down. Apparently when you hire a skip and are seen moving items from your premises in preparation for a brewery......this means you're preparing to close down.

I refer you to a previous blog 'oooooooh, I heard it through the Grapevine!'

How do some people get on in life, jumping from rumour to rumour without knowing if the information they are passing on is correct or not, thus not realising that this sort of uneducated guessing can impact a business.

JUST FOR THE RECORD, WE ARE NOT CLOSING AND ARE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN EVER IN OUR GROWTH.

Here are some rumours to keep the uneducated guessers busy for a few months until the brewery is complete:

Apparently, the local vets have successfully bred a poodle and a shitzu, they are calling it a Shitpoodle

Apparently the memorial is being knocked down to make way for a giant ferris wheel called the Clowne eye.

Apparently the rail tracks are being relaid as part of the 6423 mile track (Accurate mileage, check google) that will carry North Korean missiles to America undetected.

Apparently the natural spring that runs underneath clowne has tested positive for a chemical that turns people invisible and people have been using this power to steal free bus rides.

Just for legal reference, we don't believe any of the above to be true, nor do we refer to any businesses in particular.

In the interest of applied marketing, we are using this opportunity to begin our closing down sale which will run for the next 35 years, no prices reduced but all stock must go.

AGAIN, JUST INCASE PEOPLE HAVE SKIM READ, WE ARE NOT CLOSING DOWN!!





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